I’m sorry that our relationship took a abrupt, violent end. It was a magnificent two weeks we had together. It was wonderful to see you grow into a superb, bewhiskered upper lip decoration. But as they say, all good things must come to an end. I hope that our lives will cross paths again soon so my love for you can flourish into a robust bond. Maybe I’ll introduce you to my other friend sideburns and we can make a glorious beard together.

There, I have said it. I can rest now. And as I dream, I will dream of you.
-Brian